“Ever have one of those days? Everything just seems to be a struggle? Yeah, we all do. The hits just seem to keep on coming! What do we do to overcome them? Take control! It takes some concentration, but it can be done. It is easy to fall into that pit of despair and wallow in self pity. Calling Pity Party of one please? Pity party of one? Forget it. That ain’t no party!
Pity is a one person deal. One person delves into it. It is solitary, isolating, which is one of the things that makes it crummy. Now listen. I have withstood some serious blows in my time and have thrown a pity party for myself. Many in fact. Still do sometimes. But here is how it works. Set a timer for a certain amount of time. Like 20 minutes. Then drop down and immerse yourself in pity. Its lonely. Its sad. And it stinks. 20 minutes is plenty of time, maybe even more than enough. But sometimes you gotta get it out of your system. You know, some say tears are cleansing. So sometimes I cry at my pity party. And I hate it because I belong in the category of “ugly crier”. When I cry, my eyes puff up, my nose turns red, and the corners of my mouth hang low. I can’t stand those people that cry and still look glamorous. I look like a dishrag. But sometimes I let my tears flow anyway.
So let the tears come. Let them cleanse. Then emerge into the joy of knowing that it’s just not that bad. Just like someone always has more money than you do, some one also always has it worse. They deserve our sympathy, our help and our love. We can show that, in part, by rising up into our own glory. Recognizing our gifts. And having the courage to share them. Everyone gets sick. Everyone gets their heart broken. Everyone loses a job. Everyone suffers loss. Pain. Hurt. But instead of those becoming road blocks, let them become tools. Tools for building.
Tough times can become a building block. A time to learn, a time to grow. It is a challenge for sure, but it can be done. Taking a hit, metaphorically speaking, and turning it into something useful can be done. The temptation to delve into pity is there. And that’s ok. Set the timer for 20 minutes and warn those around you that a pity party for one is in full swing. Let the 20 minutes pass. There is always darkness before dawn. In fact, we can’t appreciate the sunshine until we have rain. Our challenge lies in figuring out how to use that road block as a tool to grow. To help. To improve. When that timer goes off, rise up. Take a deep cleansing breath. Smile. Shake off the pity and dig down to find and bring out inner gifts, hidden talents. Open up. Let your light shine. It’s there! I promise!
My beautiful friend Linda has reminded me of some important words that sometimes get overlooked. And they are powerful words that can help the emergence from self pity. She says “You cannot be grateful for something you feel entitled to”. Love it!! That is empowering! Turn that “why me” attitude, that “I don’t deserve this” statement into a grateful heart. That’s when things seriously turn around. Truth is, we aren’t entitled to a thing. So we need to be grateful. Even for the struggles, the hits, the road blocks.
I value wellness, good health, and strength in the mind, body and soul. Wellness can only be fully realized when our head and heart are in the right place. A good place. Appreciative. Happy. Joyful. Thankful. Take those hits, set the timer for 20 minutes, work them through, and turn them into the building blocks necessary to grow. As I have said before, take a road block and turn it into a detour. A different path. An opportunity. Just like trying a new food can be an adventure, changing an attitude can be rewarding. And in doing so, better health is yours!
“Promise me you’ll always remember: you’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” A.A. Milne, Winne the Pooh