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A door, A window, and Patience

4 Feb

Slam!  We have all felt it.  Heard it.  Knew by the pit in our stomach that it happened.  Smack, right in the face.  Ouch.  A door slams.  Not really, physically, but it is sometimes can feel as though a door has closed somewhere in our life.  What follows is a matter of character.  What do we feel?  Is it chaos?  Excitement?  Confusion? Passion to succeed?  Embarrassment? All of the above?  That drives us to start looking, to embark on a new search.  For what?   Faith.  A sign.  Assurance.  Calm steady waters.  A well defined direction.

But it doesn’t come right away.  We look, we dig, we pray, we cry, we beg for answers.  We fight it.  Why?  Because that closing door represents change.  And that is scary.  Maybe we want to run away.  Just bolt.  But maybe embracing it is a better reaction.  Standing still for a moment may allow us to feel the wind of change brush over us.

I have had this happen.  Doors have slammed.  And yes, perhaps I incorrectly perceived the closing door as a problem. Something negative.  But as I march forward in life, peace in the unknown is replacing unrest in the unknown.  I am now making an effort to embrace slamming doors, because a window is springing open.  Maybe not right away, but it will happen.  The past confirms it.

Baby steps.  Change doesn’t happen in a grand style.  It happens in baby steps.  As I reflect on recent doors closing (yes, that’s plural.  Sometimes life is a dog pile) my initial impulse is to bolt.  But then I do what I do when I am stressing out.  I go for a run.  And my head clears up.  You gotta get rid of that junk in there sometimes!  This happened today.  As I ran, I had some random bullet point thoughts to share and to reflect upon.

  • Maybe the closing door is simply my straight path to becoming more “me”.
  • Isn’t becoming more “me” a fabulous thing?
  • Why do I fear the unknown?  I am a woman of deep faith,  and there is no fear in faith.
  • My past is littered with closed doors.  Where did that take me?  A window always opened.
  • I am not alone.  This happens to lots of people.
  • What am I afraid of?  Really deep down afraid of?
  • Yes life is tough right now.  But I have loads of blessings to focus on.
  • Am I perceiving the slamming door being negative with my heart, or with my ego?
  • The windows are opening.  New things are happening.  But they aren’t in my plan.  My road is curving.  Hello!  That’s not a bad thing!
  • My spirit is becoming more peaceful, even with massive life changes this year.  Accepting change is a beautiful thing.

These thoughts are what I have been pondering.  And I have been trying to process them with my heart, not my brain.  Not an easy task.  While I am artistic  and creative with my food, I can be somewhat cerebral at other times.

This blog is about wellness of the mind, body and spirit.  You simply cannot have holistic wellness with these things not be aligned with one another.  We all get out of balance.  A bit topsy turvy at times.  Especially when doors are closing and we can’t see the open window.  I have decided to stop staring at the closed door and patiently wait for the window.  It’s starting to open.  Trust, faith, and love need to drive this bus.

I end this blog with one quote.  I hope it speaks to your heart as it did mine.

“Love is what we were born with.  Fear is what we learned here”.–Marianne Williamson

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